Wandering Person; Solitary Failure

Head high shoulders straight,
Undressed and confess;
I messed-Up.
Thinking I would become good enough
To get paid for jocking the box,
Like my idol Frankie Crocker.
I am a loser sexagenarian;
Cannot even score
A female soul-mate
As planned with Inna in 2012 and before..

I fucked-up,
Chose the wrong path.
Higher educated and lower paid;
Can’t even seem to get laid!
The whole town of my college friends,
Is laughing at me.

“Dumbass! Shoulda got a REAL job!”

Now I am impoverished only child
Dependent upon maybe a lottery hit –
Or crowdfunding success.

I’ve disheartened desired
Ukraineskee number three.
First there was Inna,
Who found and funded me passport
I did not ask that favor!
She gave me hope like no other.

Then Tanya and Ala simultaneously;
I tried to replace her with.
More Tanya than Ala since 2015.
So (tak)I am fessing -up.

It is 2019 now.
Tanya created an excuse,
That her son was,
Troubled at the University in Kiev,
She had to travel to him;
Many miles in Ukraine to support!
Blowing-off her job,’
So she said;
That was three months ago.

Ala has written fewer letters
Via the dating site “Beauties…”
I am a Mickey Mouse loser;
Today she let me know,
She no longer believes also.
Inna said that too after waiting long too.
And Ala told she wants a baby –
Too for that shit, Heh.

I don’t blame them at all;
Why? I cry!! Real tears!
I am a contemporary American pauper cat.
Higher educated and less wealthy;
Current government and tech policies guarantee,
A failure relying upon a net of safety.

What gorgeous international lady,
That of my seven-year plan;
Wants to be strung-along,
In the lax company
Of a dreamer via internet,
Without any tangible gifts?

Who can latch onto,
The photo of a cool-looking
Long-distance guy,
Who seems to rent and never own?
Sounds so full of baloney I agree.
Now I’m in a new town
Trying again to throw-down,
Yet who knows how long I have to live.
A Baby Boomer representing all we are blessed to give.

I fucked-up all-in-all;
Wasted a university degree.
Nyet,”see-chas” I’m The Wandering Person,
Always making decisions to stay free.

Belonging punished to selfishly croon;
Unsatisfactorily home and alone;
With allergies killing me sans air conditioning!
Need to move and build my own space,
And will do it to it;
When and if my magic numbers from the Great Spirit grace.

“Sad Face King” poetry book excerpt: ‘Footsteps In The Sand’

 

 

Footprints, Footprints in the Sand

Casino structures north in the distance,

I can tell you have been here for instance.

Like a detective I notice your five shoe size,

Also that your stride is so alive!

Imagining you wear a black two-piece,

Ahh, and you’re looking real sweet!

The sands say you also wear Addidas;

Beach walkin’ yet you yearn to be needed.

As I lay here on my towel just chillin’,

I saw your footprint;

It was so thrilling.

Suddenly I felt I knew all about you.

Footprints, footprints in the sands;

Among the many,

Yours stand out so grand.

Footprints, footprints in the sand,

Please stride back this way;

Then I can have the chance to be your man.

Birds echo one another,

The sandy sea breeze;

Suddenly too much for me.

Life in the tides,

Knowing reminders of your visit.

Foamy white caps flowing in,

As together we would splash;

And out again, Uhh!

Footprints, bare footprints in the sand,

We stroll the shore hand-in-hand.

Yes I love!

Having not kicked-up sand in a while,

Footprints tell me I’m going to be your man;

I think to follow them dog hound style.

With the tide of ebb,

Water warm and easily carries me flowing;

Then in rhythm it is gone,

Erasing your traces without knowing.

I had left those cute footprints in the sand,

I had seen you walk by,

As usual I was too shy to say “hi”.

Now upon the boardwalk it is cooler,

Much lonelier as well.

As I see your name again,

Glancing down now from whence we came.

Some of your footprints even the tide cannot wash away,

I know they are the same ones,

Even though now it is hours later in the day.

  “Sad Face King” poetry, available at  https://www.createspace.com/3505160 or via Amazon search.

Buy, please review or comment…very “summertime” verses, in-general.