Tag Archive: penis



What if your penis could talk?

Or ladies, your vagina?

I can only speak to it, the penis;
So lets stick to the penis because,
We are full of double entendre now;
I know more about the former anatomy.

Guys, would your penis tell all the tales
Of the tails that you put it through?
What would it say?
Would it stick it to you?
Would it betray your manhood?

If your “wood” could gentleman,
Would it say why it stiffens in the middle of the night,
When nature calls?
And of its relationship to your balls?
The so-called, “family jewels”.
Or how COME it acts UP,
Without a female nearby?

If your penis could talk,
Would it explain those teenage wet dreams?
Or would it allow for a better elderly stream?
Suppose your dick could dictate?

If your dick could think quick,
Would he chronicle all the lays you gave him?
The tunnels of love you made him enter?
No toll necessary but the pleasure of the flesh..
Would he be like “Dick Tracy”,
Investigating the vagina chronicles?

If your penis could talk, when hard;
Would he allow you to walk the walk?
What would the “wood” say about Viagra or cocaine?
Would he want to go “See Alice”?

If Your Penis could talk,
He would likely laugh at erecting “over four hours damage”
Come-on, he can last much longer!
If the woman is sexy and fine!

If your Magic Johnson could speak,
He would be concerned about Lorena Bobbit!
Are they even still together?
Yes, unfortunately and likely in some trailer park,
Chopping meat.

If you named him “Jack Meoff”,
Would your penis explain how you are now a private “southpaw”?
Or all of the times it gave you a hard time for no reason?
Like when you have no companion next to you in the bed?

What would your penis say if it could talk from its tiny mouth?
Would he remember and reveal if you ever contracted an STD?
Or if you enjoy masturbation too much?
Would it brag as a slender, thick or a curved dick?

As you can see, this debate has many angles.
Including the calculation of the dangle;
From forty-five to a sturdy ninety silk degrees;
A silent partner in a three-way love affair,
Who you want to treat right,
Not just beat it.

Couldn’t help the analogy, lol!

Send your opinions! Thank you for reading my poetry.

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So!!.. I am the star quarterback of the New York Jets football club, and my name is Bret Farve.  I have gone through many a run at retirement, my wife is a legend of cancer recovery, right?  So, yes this cheerleader/reporter is hotter than hot, and we as fans have known about Jenn as a class act for at least two years, and haven’t harassed her. So…why do I, as Bret Farve , become so stupid as Tiger’s wood did to the point that I ignore the technology with which we communicate to the point that I text/sms this female with intimate thoughts and encourage her to “stop by my room”? More questions this “situation”  begs me to emplore you to indulge – and I will make it quick.  I must reiterate, that we JETS fans have known about this cheerleader/reporter for some time now, and she is a total class act who doesn’t  need this kind of harassment BS from an old man like Farve, nor anybody “impersonating” him ( yeah, Riite!), or whatever.  man-up and rap to her if  you want a fox like that, or else step-off! Tiger Woods is a scumbag when it comes to women.  No class. He gets the finest white chicks and he still is not satisfied. Dumbass!

I go back to my main man., Joe Namath, who I adore because his playboyness was out there and he didn’t care who said what about it.  He performed on the field, and that was what matters – unless your “wife” is a famous cancer survivor who, if that is the case, Farve should have cut ties with long ago, so that he can try to be the bachelor he never was and share phone camera pic of his limp dick to an unwilling subject and the rest of us who go “Ewwww!” in the world.  The following questions apply:

1 -Do we HAVE to see some limp dick in a video??
2 -Are all modern day “jocks” absent of COMMON SENSE?
3 – IS this another TIGER’s wood situation?
4 – Will Farve please go AWAY?
5 – Will the J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets beat the socks off the Vikings on Sunday? Nyet.

Why did the J-E-T-S, Jet, Jets, Jets need Bret Farve anyway.  What had he done lately, I still want to know! LOL [originally composed during the early 2010 NFL season]

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