Farve Penis? Tiger’s Wood?

So!!.. I am the star quarterback of the New York Jets football club, and my name is Bret Farve.  I have gone through many a run at retirement, my wife is a legend of cancer recovery, right?  So, yes this cheerleader/reporter is hotter than hot, and we as fans have known about Jenn as a class act for at least two years, and haven’t harassed her. So…why do I, as Bret Farve , become so stupid as Tiger’s wood did to the point that I ignore the technology with which we communicate to the point that I text/sms this female with intimate thoughts and encourage her to “stop by my room”? More questions this “situation”  begs me to emplore you to indulge – and I will make it quick.  I must reiterate, that we JETS fans have known about this cheerleader/reporter for some time now, and she is a total class act who doesn’t  need this kind of harassment BS from an old man like Farve, nor anybody “impersonating” him ( yeah, Riite!), or whatever.  man-up and rap to her if  you want a fox like that, or else step-off! Tiger Woods is a scumbag when it comes to women.  No class. He gets the finest white chicks and he still is not satisfied. Dumbass!

I go back to my main man, Joe Namath, who I adore because his playboyness was out there and he didn’t care who said what about it.  He performed on the field, and that was what matters – unless your “wife” is a famous cancer survivor who, if that is the case, Farve should have cut ties with long ago, so that he can try to be the bachelor he never was and share phone camera pic of his limp dick to an unwilling subject and the rest of us who go “Ewwww!” in the world.  The following questions apply:

1 -Do we HAVE to see some limp dick in a video??

2 -Are all modern day “jocks” absent of COMMON SENSE?

3 – IS this another TIGER’s wood situation?

4 – Will Farve please go AWAY?

5 – Will the J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets beat the socks off the Vikings on Sunday? Nyet.

Why did the J-E-T-S, Jet, Jets, Jets need Bret Farve anyway.  What had he done lately, I still want to know! LOL [originally composed during the early 2010 NFL season]

GE, The Great Media Diluter

Item: General Electric, the company that used to be only known for light bulbs and who a few years ago absorbed most of the TV National Broadcasting Company (NBC), now plans to eat the rest of NBC and then sell itself as a slut to one of the evil telecommunications monopolies, Comcast (or as I like to call them ComCOST) by the end of the first week in December.

The good news may be that GE has diluted the entities it has touched; causing the Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien programming fiasco and thrusting local WNBC, TV New York weatherman upon the formerly credible and independent Weather Channel after absorbing them. They made their brand to look like a cartoon show in the morning because of Roper’s buffoon-like reputation. We can only hope and pray that they will cause similar damage by selling their diluted properties to ComCOST so they can get watery too; it would be refreshing.  Signed,  a soon to be “former customer”.

Item: So now, if you had any doubts, we know even Tiger Woods has a penis mentality to go along with his great skill at the game of golf.  All men, at one point or another, let their “wood” do the talking when faced with The Creator’s ultimate trick in life, the beautiful female.  If I had a son to train and guide from birth, I would teach him to beware of this tricky flower called the female – her beauty wants to suck you in, her different anatomy wants to incite and challenge your curiosity, and unless you can envision the possibility of co-cohabiting with any of these particular curvy entities for the rest of your life legally, then your might want to take Burt Bacharach’s melodic advice and “Walk On By” whether it be on a concrete or virtual sidewalk.  Yeah, easy for me to say … I hear you.  Can I have one of their numbers, maybe Rachel’s, Tiger? LMAO

Hey Tiger! Most of us would kill for a hot wife from Sweden!  C’mon, why you wanna be greedy?  How come she doesn’t travel with you all the time? You can afford it.

Like I have always said, a lot of these guys should stay bachelors longer, have some male seconds they can trust around them for whatever like managing their fortunes in the talent’s best interest, and lobby for a male contraceptive pill – just in case.  I say that only one-third tongue-in-cheek. But upon further review, I think we have more of a “Kobe Bryant” situation and possibly a Cool Hand Luke-style  “failure to communicate.”

Thing that is most troubling (again), is that we never had to endure the personal lives of our media or sports heroes (or they never got publically busted for things like this back in days of Palmer, Jack Nicholas and earlier) before this silly “politically correct” nonsense which was brought by First Lady Hillary CLinton, who is really a Feminist.

There is much to be said for dialing back this media which feels that it has to cover and possibly exaggerate everything it smells as a story about your “hero” and his private life.  I am on Mr. Woods side on that count; but Dude, did you have to/at what point did you decide to take it outside??