Tag Archive: communication


“Damned smartphone!” lol

Pet Peeve number “5,000″…

Remember this?

My first “cellphone” and,

At least it did not intrude on my mood!

Neither did it remind me;

Harken to those days of sanity.

If you were born prior to 1989 you are saved;

Who can keep count these days?

Don’t you hate it when you text someone,

Then they call you right back before you finish?

If you wanted to TALK to them,

YOU would have called in the first place!

Or Don’t you get annoyed when

You are calling someone,

Their voice mail comes on and,

Just as you are wrapping up your voice-mail,

That person is CALLING you,

Without even having listened to your voice-mail?!

You could have just tex’d them!

What’s the use in their outgoing message?

I feel then like I should have hung up on myself!

Silly smart-phone configurations perpetuate,

Conflicting communications with intrusive settings,

Unfocused communication in the middle of calls!

With options to opt-out of the conversation,

Says Alexander Graham Bell,

“What the hell?”

Let us only hearken back to a Virgin who

Was my first lover;

Of flip cell phones.

I sent her a score of indigo flowers then ago,

When this instant communication didn’t happen

And a lonely “Blackberry” was the IN thing.

Even our cool beans President had one!

With the lack of annoyance,

He made leadership non-intrusive fun.

I’d rather hear your voice;

Email, sms/text or talking?

When I was a DJ on 98.7 KISS FM,

Our slogan slug line was,

“More Music, Less Talk”.

Today, it would be

“More texting, Less talk”.

[…to be continued to fix it…”]


What if your penis could talk?

Or ladies, your vagina?

I can only speak to it, the penis;
So lets stick to the penis because,
We are full of double entendre now;
I know more about the former anatomy.

Guys, would your penis tell all the tales
Of the tails that you put it through?
What would it say?
Would it stick it to you?
Would it betray your manhood?

If your “wood” could gentleman,
Would it say why it stiffens in the middle of the night,
When nature calls?
And of its relationship to your balls?
The so-called, “family jewels”.
Or how COME it acts UP,
Without a female nearby?

If your penis could talk,
Would it explain those teenage wet dreams?
Or would it allow for a better elderly stream?
Suppose your dick could dictate?

If your dick could think quick,
Would he chronicle all the lays you gave him?
The tunnels of love you made him enter?
No toll necessary but the pleasure of the flesh..
Would he be like “Dick Tracy”,
Investigating the vagina chronicles?

If your penis could talk, when hard;
Would he allow you to walk the walk?
What would the “wood” say about Viagra or cocaine?
Would he want to go “See Alice”?

If Your Penis could talk,
He would likely laugh at erecting “over four hours damage”
Come-on, he can last much longer!
If the woman is sexy and fine!

If your Magic Johnson could speak,
He would be concerned about Lorena Bobbit!
Are they even still together?
Yes, unfortunately and likely in some trailer park,
Chopping meat.

If you named him “Jack Meoff”,
Would your penis explain how you are now a private “southpaw”?
Or all of the times it gave you a hard time for no reason?
Like when you have no companion next to you in the bed?

What would your penis say if it could talk from its tiny mouth?
Would he remember and reveal if you ever contracted an STD?
Or if you enjoy masturbation too much?
Would it brag as a slender, thick or a curved dick?

As you can see, this debate has many angles.
Including the calculation of the dangle;
From forty-five to a sturdy ninety silk degrees;
A silent partner in a three-way love affair,
Who you want to treat right,
Not just beat it.

Couldn’t help the analogy, lol!

Send your opinions! Thank you for reading my poetry.

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