Category: Bartender’s Tales


flout
verb [ T ]
“to intentionally disobey a rule or law, or to intentionally avoid behavior that is usual or expected.”

[They think they can flout the law and get away with it.]
[He conducted business in his pajamas to flout convention.]

Happy Veteran’s Day, 2018. I especially honor those of World War I, World War II, Korea and Vietnam this year, who fought for what the “Father of Our Country” lead his men into war over: Freedom and our Declaration of Independence, which led to our American Constitution.

When I was raised, not so long ago, we were taught that there are three things you do not talk about in polite company: your religion, your salary and who you vote for. If more people followed these traditional tenets instead of flouting them, there would be less contentiousness these days. It is the main reason I mostly refrain from writing about politics here.

I am of the opinion that ever since we noticed it – I say “we” meaning my good buddies and I who used to look out over and settle our world from a high-terraced apartment in the north Bronx – the “GOP” planned to dumb-down a significant portion of our nation, specifically those not in traditional big cities and urban areas, so that they could capture the less-educated, disenfranchised and less questioning gun-owners, often in the wilds, and turn them into supporters of whatever pablum they fed them. It hasn’t worked as well as they hoped.

This toilet paper to his shoe photo typifies FLOUTUS45’s term and character:

Attacking public education and family unity by encouraging single parenting, they almost have achieved this with a trumped-up Oval Office. We who know better can take it back – and we better before we have a DICTATOR on our hands in the “good ole USA”. I won’t dignify him by mentioning his name in my blog, but this fake “President” speaks to flouting all of the norms we have become accustomed to as a nation, including our Constitution, whether you agree with all he says or not, on a daily basis! This needs to end soonest. IMO, he is a third-party candidate that got in because both major parties laid-down and especially the “Donkeys” ran a weak horse in the race who didn’t challenge @FLOUTUS45 when she had opportunities to be a bitch. The “Elephants” were no better; remember Jeb Bush cowering and almost kneeling without a come-back when Casino Man played the dozens on him during a televised debate? It was shameful!

Someone please give FLOUTUS45 some lukewarm milk with a double-shot of his favorite bourbon whiskey – I recommend 114-proof “Old Granddad”, because it befits his style and is concocted in Kentucky, the state of his fellow good old boy Senator – maybe adding some Fruit Loops to it in a bowl, as homage to the many zanie things he “tweets” all the time would be good. Then put him on ice and to bed for a long winter’s nap in a cave somewhere, before he listens more to his closet advisor, Russia’s Putin (who wants our land by any means), and flouts us into World War III.

Where are our collective manners, common sense, etiquette, patience and respect? Not that far away, but we need smart leadership which teaches the masses to embrace “The Golden Rule”.

Sincerely,

Tired of the Embarrassing Current Foot-in-Tweet Daily Scandal Circus

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I have a friend…well, it has been a while since we hung-out, so maybe I should write, “I know a guy…” who I first saw telling jokes during my DJ time-outs at a bar, formerly located in Uniondale, Long Island, called The Dolphins Cove. He grew up in Roosevelt, Long Island, around the block from the only woman lucky enough to marry me right out of college when we both were too young to do so. He used to come over to my ex’s in-laws house to court her younger sister while I was still in the mix. His name is Eddie Murphy, and I just found a movie in which he starred, that was not one of his typically funny ones, called “Mr. Church”, in my local library’s DVD section!

Actually, it was previewed on another movie’s disc; I didn’t even know that he was still working or that it existed! Mr. Murphy used to leave my name at the door when he was performing his stand-up at the hottest New York City comedy clubs (at the time I was a pretty warm local radio DJ).

This is the first movie write-up I have ever penned on this blog I think, and I do it because “Mr. Church” moved me so much! How much? Well lets just say that I sat there like an old lady with a moist handkerchief, constantly dabbing at my teary eyes throughout the film. I guess I forgot about my sentimental side, calloused by many failed love affairs and poverty through the years. Watching it a second time did not deviate from the previous reactions.

Maybe it is because I knew/know Eddie as a comedian, and remember those at the Dolphin’s Cove “booing” when he was trying-out his material and chanting, “Bring back the Dee Jay, Bring back the Dee Jay!” lol OR…somehow I relate to the story-line of a bachelor who likes to cook and does it well, while slightly self-abusing his talents with whatever medicine while fighting past disrespectful persons in his life. We all “grow up” sooner or later in our creativity – as silly as we used to be and I can testify (but I still like to be “silly” and laugh as much as I can- just seems to be fewer people with a sense of humor now) to the metamorphosis! That clarinet theme song doesn’t dispel my melancholy either – it only encourages this movie’s spiteful therapy at me.

Cannot find the name of that clarinet-led theme song during the ending credits, however. Anybody?

I now will return the “Mr.Church” DVD to my local library, so if someone reads this, they can share my experience – or not – and learn more about ourselves. “Mr Church” is emotional dynamite for Mr. Murphy and the cast! As someone who reviews music and other media, I rate this move with four of five sentimental stars.

Major Props, Eddie on your beautiful wife and new family.

“Those without previous governing experience via public election need not apply, nor are eligible”

Its like any other job, if you do not have the experience, you cannot get hired!!

So what happened this last American election should serve as the major reminder to the electorate, Supreme Court of the United States of America and its legislative branches. Here yee, here yee: The most recent past election in 2016 should prove to all USA citizens that unless you have been elected and governed previously, you are unqualified to become elected to the highest office in the land, which is President. There should never again be a choice between “slim” and “none”. One reason that we do not get “great” candidates as in days past is because somehow, those covering them expect them to be “perfect” – and none of us are – getting into their pants! Yes, some transgressions should disqualify prior to Primaries. Last cycle, I am surprised the GOP didn’t dig-up the dirt on the reality TV candidate in order to expose him! I guess they just wanted to “win” at any cost to our national unity, trying to dumb-down the populace along the way.

Even the former Hollywood Actor, Ronald Reagan had been elected and served as the Governor of the great state of California prior to running for President of The United States. Let this be a warning to the “Oprahs” of the world: get some experience and do not be gloated into biting off much more than you can chew due to ego. I met Oprah at a nightclub called Stringfellows in New York City, circa 1990, and she impressed me as a snob. Might be nice to some, however I saw her boy, Steadman following dutifully a few steps behind her as opposed to being by her side as an equal. I was a radio personality in New York City at the time and she ignored me.

Whenever we have all of these “secret memos”, special prosecutors, marital infidelity against The First Lady, investigations into tampering, et al in the first year of a Presidency, impeachment hearings soon follow, as seen during my three score as a lifetime independent thinker.

Unlike any other position, the holder of the highest office in the nation of America, The United States, needs experience, self-control, maturity, coolness, a big-picture vision of the past, present and future peaceful planet in which we share with other nations and move forward in a spirit of help and unity to solve the difficult and unexpected decisions ahead. My ideal President is a war veteran, like my dad was or Colin Powell and Dwight Eisenhower and John F Kennedy, because in order to lead this nation into a war, you must have experienced the tragedy and human cost of it.

Vote for the favorite USA President of your lifetime or yore in the “comments”!

Upon a recent road trip, trying to find a place to chill into ebb (which is not easy these days at these prices), I grabbed a few of my historic, lifetime boxes from out of auspicious storage. One of them contained many magazines – my Playboy collection (!) – and papers, of which the list below was one. It was a print-out of an email sent to me upon the occasion of “Happy and Healthy 2002” on December 31, 2001. The paper is now gnarley at the top where the “from” would be and I tried to search up the email address, to no avail. So if you recognize yourself, please let me know in “comments” and I will qualify you to receive credit here.
Lets we see which of this list of “things to remember” are still relevant today as I transpose them and then I have some other beefs to vent in the second part of this, before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st and we transverse into the year of Our Creation, two-thousand and eighteen.

It begins:

“As we start the New Year…here are some things to remember…”

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

2. Most people will be about has happy as they decide to be.

3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

4. Whatever you are willing to put up with is exactly what you will have.

5. When your ship comes in…make sure you are willing to unload it.

6. Life is a journey…not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

7. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

8. I’ve learned that ultimately, ‘takers’ lose and ‘givers’ win.

9. Life’s precious moments don’t have value unless they are shared.

10. If you don’t start, its certain you will not arrive.

11. He or she who laughs…lasts.

12. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

13. Look for opportunities…not guarantees.

14. Success is getting up one more time.

15. Now is the most interesting time of all.

16. When things go wrong…don’t go with them.

I’ll add (17) Voices never change. Not your “opinion”, but our vocal chords, unless afflicted with a malady, remain the song of our speech and communicative instrument, whether you use it for profit or not, throughout our lives, whether you gain weight or lose it. I will always use mine (written and spoken) to go “Isley Brothers” on who and whatever tries to bulls** me or those I care about, be you my few real friends or an acquaintance. (Flip the record over now, for part II).

“It takes two to make a thing go right…(or wrong, lol)” ~ Lyn Collins, 1972

Where did all of this sudden talk of “sexual harassment” come from (again)?
Have we lost again our “moral compass”?

I digress.
So, just when Bill Cosby’s scandal died down, did they have to conspire to come up with more of this? Do you remember Anita Hill’s accusations against Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas? He still got onto the bench!

When we had a collective sense of humor, flirting was flirting and teasing was teasing and (sometimes) pleasing.

“It takes two to tango” is the legendary phrase and I do not like that females save this nonsense for years and and years and then, when a man becomes powerful in the legislature, career or is on the deathbed of his career, they choose to mysteriously reveal a “sexual” transgression of the distant past. To what end? I wish several of them to be discredited as the Gold-diggers that they are very soon! It is ridiculous.

For those of you reading here who are not in the USA, all the news is suddenly about scandal, and not much helpful policy is being enacted among our lawmakers, as we end the year 2017. On the spur of current media moments, all kinds of hidden women come from many years ago, to tarnish the reputation of men in power with accusations of a “sexual misconduct” or “inadequate touch”, “groping” and “sexual harassment”. Where is the Alpha Male backlash?
For me it’s like a troubling fashion trend and mildly amusing. Why, if true at that time, they did not say anything! “Oh, I would not have gotten that role in the movie!” they pine. Bullshit. There would have been another role and another Producer.

Not all are choir boys, mind you, but very cool and influential and successful legislators such as long-time Congressional Representative, John Conyers. Then there is a former comedian, who was elected to Congress as a Senator, Al-Franken, which is a strange and not-to=be-taken-seriously mix; I never think a comedian should run for office these days because they do quirky things for laughs! Even a racist Southerner from Alabama (a very mean and intolerant state here), Ray Moore, faced charges as he currently runs for an upcoming election, since the Hollywood energy broker Harvey Weinstein was outed this past summer of 2017, for past sleazy deals with aspiring actresses. He deserved it, but did his revelation mean that it is now “open season” on all men of consequence? Are there any videos? What is considered “harassment”,specifically? The news reports do not describe it. Was it consensual or mischievous playful courting?

“Who among us has not a skeleton in their closet??”

What about the female’s role in all of this? Have they come to auditions dressed as Nuns? Nyet. In most cases, they are hot, use the low-cut, tease-a-peek at the breasts move with a short skirt and all of the Marilyn Monroe moves they have been taught by the media and their elder role models, in-order to entice the decision-maker. It take two to tango!
I wonder if the legendary NBA basketball great, Wilt “The Stilt” Chamberlain, who bragged of having bedded “20,000 women” would in this day be accused of “twenty-thousand counts of sexual harassment”? It was unheard of!

We need, as the late Marvin Gaye sang, more “Sexual Healing”, or will we end up with a society without sex?! I think some prudish women want it that way. Maybe they cannot orgasm (“finish” or “come”) and misery loves company. By they way, I heard that most television News Directors are females, these days. Hmmm, what drives these kind of stories better than those in that position?

Even an excellent news person and journalist, Charlie Rose, is the latest casualty of the sudden Puritan hypocrisy here on the eve of Thanksgiving, 2017! Where will it end? Oh, so these women do not want sex?? Will we end-up with a sexless society without male anchors unless they are homosexuals or Eunuchs? The end of flirting; the end of double entendre`; the end of rapping to “get some”… This, it seems to me, is where we are heading and I am glad I am on the other side of sixty to likely not have to observe this destiny. If you like a chick at your job, as a man, now how can you approach her without feeling that, if she doesn’t like you, she can mention the “SH-word” and have you in a world of hurt, just due to natural desire to have a mate? How about off-the-cuff remarks? Oh,C’mon!! We have lost our sense of humor/common sense duet to silly political correctness, while in the Oval Office sits a man who admits to “grabbing some pussy“. Pull-eeze.

As a pick-Hitt punctuation, please now enjoy this blast from my youthful black and white TV days past, on your way out of my theater of the modern absurd reader’s mind. A classic video from when we had a collective sense of humor! Bravo Mr. Dean Martin, lol I love to see a man having fun without being judged, doing his thing. Bring back some of those days, please.

“There are two sides to every story, just as there are two-sides to every coin.”

What is the statute of limitations on these kind of accusations? Is there one? There MUST be some, lest we be doomed to never accomplishing any more of the SO-much-more important business of helping We The People.

Fingers lovingly probe the letters of these keys.
Emotion tries to rescue me.
Where will they take me?
Like a Disc Jockey plays,
A rolling stone full of moss.

It is late, but the songbird of my life called me out of the blue earlier this afternoon,
In the daylight for a change,
We usually talk late at night.
She calls me unexpectedly,
Holla at a brotha excitedly to say she thinks
She was nearby where my mother lives.
Few have permission to go there.

An ongoing thing,
Is this fling;
I stopped it for twenty-five years.
Let the sap descend back to the roots;
Banned and then I forgave her
Upon shockingly returning as a caregiver.

Many a year it seemed,
I was just her chauffeur to parties
Nothing more afterwards.
I was in love with a ride-share client;
She spoke her love for me,
However it was never consummated,
While I could lay many others.

We are still both single,
Early sexagenarians who have not yet exchanged sexual generics.
Would it be worth it now having desired her for so long?
As uncharacteristic as a cold cactus on a desert night,
I still do not trust her to visit and be denied and teased again.

Therefore, and because she lives now in the dark of the Bronx,
Yet I did it to get it over with.
The tolls over the bridges,
Are also somewhat prohibitive nowadays from when it was a quarter.

Lay lady never laid,
Maybe on my new almost brass bed,
If only I could finally get her into it.
Never taking me seriously,
Thinking I was too skinny genetically.
That I can never control.

If now that we are older Baby Boomers,
She would perish before I do,
Would be the saddest day,
Save my own mother’s time before mine.

Her voice is still the same,
Except when she is loud street braggadocios.
Our octaves never change I guess,
Unless health issues do.
Once a songbird to my heart,
Always a special symphony singer into my soul.
She insists “last night a DJ saved my life”.

Thirty years I have known her;
Yet through it all never boned her.
No hook-up from the friend zone.
Nyet benefits – why?
This verse is masturbation alone.

Caring in-truthful conversations,
This time wasn’t our mind blown?
To have loved and to slice like a cherry tree;
Tasted tart fruit distantly from one’s own;
Now I know never there will we have sex;
Not a pie are we,
No French Vanilla-skinned ice cream;
Only a forever fly-by.
She is huge in weight and afraid of the freight.
It will slightly be morose to have lost the chance ,
When one of us soon goes “bye-bye”.
Thanks for the friendship dance.


What if your penis could talk?

Or ladies, your vagina?

I can only speak to it, the penis;
So lets stick to the penis because,
We are full of double entendre now;
I know more about the former anatomy.

Guys, would your penis tell all the tales
Of the tails that you put it through?
What would it say?
Would it stick it to you?
Would it betray your manhood?

If your “wood” could gentleman,
Would it say why it stiffens in the middle of the night,
When nature calls?
And of its relationship to your balls?
The so-called, “family jewels”.
Or how COME it acts UP,
Without a female nearby?

If your penis could talk,
Would it explain those teenage wet dreams?
Or would it allow for a better elderly stream?
Suppose your dick could dictate?

If your dick could think quick,
Would he chronicle all the lays you gave him?
The tunnels of love you made him enter?
No toll necessary but the pleasure of the flesh..
Would he be like “Dick Tracy”,
Investigating the vagina chronicles?

If your penis could talk, when hard;
Would he allow you to walk the walk?
What would the “wood” say about Viagra or cocaine?
Would he want to go “See Alice”?

If Your Penis could talk,
He would likely laugh at erecting “over four hours damage”
Come-on, he can last much longer!
If the woman is sexy and fine!

If your Magic Johnson could speak,
He would be concerned about Lorena Bobbit!
Are they even still together?
Yes, unfortunately and likely in some trailer park,
Chopping meat.

If you named him “Jack Meoff”,
Would your penis explain how you are now a private “southpaw”?
Or all of the times it gave you a hard time for no reason?
Like when you have no companion next to you in the bed?

What would your penis say if it could talk from its tiny mouth?
Would he remember and reveal if you ever contracted an STD?
Or if you enjoy masturbation too much?
Would it brag as a slender, thick or a curved dick?

As you can see, this debate has many angles.
Including the calculation of the dangle;
From forty-five to a sturdy ninety silk degrees;
A silent partner in a three-way love affair,
Who you want to treat right,
Not just beat it.

Couldn’t help the analogy, lol!

Send your opinions! Thank you for reading my poetry.

SINCE November of 2009, when I began this literary exercise at the behest of a college buddy, I have been able to opine in relative obscurity, save when one would search the “About” page and as “obscure” as one can be on the worldwide web. That is about to change with this post. Life is a race against time and “time” always wins in the end.

Six months ago, in the late summer of 2016, as I was being “downsized” or forced out of the latest copier sales “telemarketing” gig by one small partner at NY Digital Products, I accepted an offer to work for what I thought was the company who helped me self publish my three books since 2010, CreateSpace in Charleston, South Carolina. By the time I arrived in Charleston, they switched me to the Kindle “ebook” training platform – that was the first bad omen.Fast-forward to Thanksgiving, 2016 when I was still living “Airbnb-style”, from host-to host, unable to find suitable and affordable housing in a nice, diverse neighborhood as I had in Nashville, Tennessee in the 2000s, I ended-up in a trailer park in Goose Creek, South Carolina and almost had a “Deliverance” (classic movie starring Burt Reynolds) experience until Airbnb saved the day and suggested several potential hosts, one of whom became the lady who felt my frustration and pain at having to move from place-to-place for many months and took me in. I paid her $600/month through the winter since November 25, 2016 for the room (shown on this profile). In February, 2017, her estranged husband returned to the house and the vibe changed gradually until he made it clear recently that the lady was not the owner of the house, HE is and he wanted to throw me out as I had finally been offered two jobs to get away from the Amazon Kindle gig which, unfortunately for me, did not work out, but left me behind on the money I was paying to his wife by five hundred, which he wanted immediately or I had to leave by force. The lady worked with me and I was giving her partial payments to catch up. He wanted “all or nothing” and it came to a head on Sunday, April 3, 2017 when he threatened to “remove [me]” and upon the advice of my Attorney, I called the police, who came and told him that “it doesn’t work like that”, he’d have to begin eviction proceedings. I do not want that outcome nor this drama and yet, nobody seems to be able to help me with a stable and consistent salaried job nor loan yet!! This is why I turn to my tried and true crowdfinding. I want to get out by April 30 so I can establish a base from which I can grow income from my creative callings and eventually apply for Social Security retirement. However, I cannot be forced into the streets and I want to give the lady who had stood by my side despite her husband, some money on my way to better days.
“Just last night she said about her husband, “Soon he’s going to put his foot down and you have to go…” I have no place to “GO”… [I remember that moment with hidden horror – 11.22.2017]
I need your donation today and no amount is too small. I can reward you with complimentary copies of my three books or an autographed DJ picture from my radio days. Maybe you can conjure a “perk” from me that would inspire you to donate massively? Just let me know. THIS…is an emergency. These are VERY nervous times for me. Please help.
Donate here Please Help Secure Me From Having to Try To Live In My Car

May all of your trails be smooth and full of the music you love,
“Cheetah” Naphtali Jimi B

PickkHiTT: I never thought that I would have to blog myself to stay solvent and off of the streets. Life’s a Bitch…

check out my musik-only blog at https://achilliadsmyvinylrecordshoppe.wordpress.com/

“And the hits just keep on coming…”

fools

“Well, I don’t know what will happen now; we’ve got some difficult days ahead.
But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountaintop. And I don’t mind.
Like anybody, I would like to live a long life–longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will.
And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain.
And I’ve looked over, and I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you.
But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land.
And so I’m happy tonight; I’m not worried about anything; I’m not fearing any man.
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!”

Sadly, WordPress apparently is not offering its Bloggers a Year in Review for 2016.

To me, this is yet another example of one of the little nice things in our lives that our online corporate administrators, like even YouTube, and Google or Amazon, who are increasingly changing on us, to the civilian detriment, while withdrawing the ease of use after getting us used to them! It is classic “bait and switch”.

It Sux and is not about the “statistics”. Nyet, it is about the creatively fun way that WordPress.com presented this yearly gift to us, lo these past years, since I began to blog in 2009.

If you know of another blog platform that has not thrown the “baby out with the bathwater” and still is fun, please let me know because maybe it is time to take my writing “business” elsewhere it is still appreciated and FUN. Here is what a beautiful job they did last year. Attempts to contact “Support” directly only lead to frustration – and we have enough of that on a daily basis not to want to pursue it – what they must count upon.

untitled

Click this link please and then leave a comment!

https://achilliad.wordpress.com/2015/annual-report/