Category: A Cool Bachelor's Diary


“It takes two to make a thing go right…(or wrong, lol)” ~ Lyn Collins, 1972

Where did all of this sudden talk of “sexual harassment” come from (again)?
Have we lost again our “moral compass”?

I digress.
So, just when Bill Cosby’s scandal died down, did they have to conspire to come up with more of this? Do you remember Anita Hill’s accusations against Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas? He still got onto the bench!

When we had a collective sense of humor, flirting was flirting and teasing was teasing and (sometimes) pleasing.

“It takes two to tango” is the legendary phrase and I do not like that females save this nonsense for years and and years and then, when a man becomes powerful in the legislature, career or is on the deathbed of his career, they choose to mysteriously reveal a “sexual” transgression of the distant past. To what end? I wish several of them to be discredited as the Gold-diggers that they are very soon! It is ridiculous.

For those of you reading here who are not in the USA, all the news is suddenly about scandal, and not much helpful policy is being enacted among our lawmakers, as we end the year 2017. On the spur of current media moments, all kinds of hidden women come from many years ago, to tarnish the reputation of men in power with accusations of a “sexual misconduct” or “inadequate touch”, “groping” and “sexual harassment”. Where is the Alpha Male backlash?
For me it’s like a troubling fashion trend and mildly amusing. Why, if true at that time, they did not say anything! “Oh, I would not have gotten that role in the movie!” they pine. Bullshit. There would have been another role and another Producer.

Not all are choir boys, mind you, but very cool and influential and successful legislators such as long-time Congressional Representative, John Conyers. Then there is a former comedian, who was elected to Congress as a Senator, Al-Franken, which is a strange and not-to=be-taken-seriously mix; I never think a comedian should run for office these days because they do quirky things for laughs! Even a racist Southerner from Alabama (a very mean and intolerant state here), Ray Moore, faced charges as he currently runs for an upcoming election, since the Hollywood energy broker Harvey Weinstein was outed this past summer of 2017, for past sleazy deals with aspiring actresses. He deserved it, but did his revelation mean that it is now “open season” on all men of consequence? Are there any videos? What is considered “harassment”,specifically? The news reports do not describe it. Was it consensual or mischievous playful courting?

“Who among us has not a skeleton in their closet??”

What about the female’s role in all of this? Have they come to auditions dressed as Nuns? Nyet. In most cases, they are hot, use the low-cut, tease-a-peek at the breasts move with a short skirt and all of the Marilyn Monroe moves they have been taught by the media and their elder role models, in-order to entice the decision-maker. It take two to tango!
I wonder if the legendary NBA basketball great, Wilt “The Stilt” Chamberlain, who bragged of having bedded “20,000 women” would in this day be accused of “twenty-thousand counts of sexual harassment”? It was unheard of!

We need, as the late Marvin Gaye sang, more “Sexual Healing”, or will we end up with a society without sex?! I think some prudish women want it that way. Maybe they cannot orgasm (“finish” or “come”) and misery loves company. By they way, I heard that most television News Directors are females, these days. Hmmm, what drives these kind of stories better than those in that position?

Even an excellent news person and journalist, Charlie Rose, is the latest casualty of the sudden Puritan hypocrisy here on the eve of Thanksgiving, 2017! Where will it end? Oh, so these women do not want sex?? Will we end-up with a sexless society without male anchors unless they are homosexuals or Eunuchs? The end of flirting; the end of double entendre`; the end of rapping to “get some”… This, it seems to me, is where we are heading and I am glad I am on the other side of sixty to likely not have to observe this destiny. If you like a chick at your job, as a man, now how can you approach her without feeling that, if she doesn’t like you, she can mention the “SH-word” and have you in a world of hurt, just due to natural desire to have a mate? How about off-the-cuff remarks? Oh,C’mon!! We have lost our sense of humor/common sense duet to silly political correctness, while in the Oval Office sits a man who admits to “grabbing some pussy“. Pull-eeze.

As a pick-Hitt punctuation, please now enjoy this blast from my youthful black and white TV days past, on your way out of my theater of the modern absurd reader’s mind. A classic video from when we had a collective sense of humor! Bravo Mr. Dean Martin, lol I love to see a man having fun without being judged, doing his thing. Bring back some of those days, please.

“There are two sides to every story, just as there are two-sides to every coin.”

What is the statute of limitations on these kind of accusations? Is there one? There MUST be some, lest we be doomed to never accomplishing any more of the SO-much-more important business of helping We The People.

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I’ve dug this one since Labor Day 2017 and my forty-years of music radio mind knew it was a “hit” the first time I hear the loop on Kiss FM, Ukraine online! I probably am late to the table to dine upon the pleasure of a morsel of Katy, and yes am slightly out-of-touch more than when I was actively Jocking. This too can pass; the concept of this creativity is clever-forever. (hyphen nation)

The video speaks for itself, does not detract from the tune and plays to my inner punter, that I pray I have not left behind, who yearns to “spin again”for a live crowd of dance-hall fun-lovers real soon!

In this you hear…today’s Sexy sense of humor, punny, money and mouth-watering gold!
Major Props to Katy on so far she has come to over the adversities and insults such as being dropped from Def Jam’s roster. Who has the last laugh on this now, Russell Simmons? As the turntable turns…
‘Nuff Said! lol Love it. Love Katy! What a tasty morsel!!
Where is the broth?
I can use it for another dish!
Maybe fish.
Ummmm, I am smellin’ it.
She is now my phone’s ringtone.
“‘Cause I’m all that you want, boy
All that you can have, boy
Got me spread like a buffet
Bon appétit, baby…”

I’m turned-ON!

Enjoy and be sure to brush your teeth after eating.

[More music musings at my krates-fullo’musik-only satellite site, https://achilliadsmyvinylrecordshoppe.wordpress.com/ ]

How now, Brown cow…?

[Brown cow’ is an 18th century description for a barrel of beer. The saying probably originated as a way of calling for another round of drinks.

An early example can be found in Scottish author Allan Ramsay’s play The Gentle Shepherd (1725)]

“The auld anes think it best,
With the brown cow to clear their een,
Snuff, crack, and take their rest.
I know this will be what my generation deemed “corny”,
However. isn’t that part of a cow’s diet?”

Be that as it may, I elaborate this event with:

Brooklyn New York’s Prospect Park became an open-field zoo,
As residents kowtowed to his presence.

So I am at my office stall giving Goodwill,
Not exactly “chillin” in Charleston at the time;
When my smartfone tells me;
“Cow loose in Brooklyn”.
I laugh silently,
With no workplace privacy.
Then I hunt on ASK dot com about this.
Sure enuff it gives me three options for,
“Cow loose in Brooklyn”.
Lol it is where I am from, after all;
New York City is not used to live loose animals.
New Yorkers COWerd to the Bull.
I am farming a laugh now, and you?
Add yours in the “comments” section below, please.

I text my long-time professional friend who lives nearby,
“Hey was that your cow??
he goes, “What cow?”
“You didn’t hear about the cow running loose near you in Prospect Park?”
“Didn’t know. That’s crazy”
“Yep. I just emailed you the link to the video story,
It happened around noon today I think. Mooooo”

All of which begat the following,
Of my where is the “beefy” one-liners:

“Bullish on New York”
“NY is full of BULL”
New Yorkers COWering in Prospect Park at the sight of a loose cow”
“The local ABC news will Milk the situation”
Catell you something?
Another cash cow arrives in Brooklyn.
A first time Livestock update from Prospect Park!
Brooklyn Bulldozed by a loose cow.
Cow plows Prospect park bullshit standoff.

You must understand that this is very strange for “city slicker” New Yorkers to experience.
I loved it;
For me, a-flung native NYker
To see a light-hearted wild kingdom urban mystery unfold,
Was just the kind of distraction nature planned on-time.

We need more of this mostly positive and naturally non-political news,
Lest we stray from the herd and become livestock calves who succumb to the bullies.
Remember, we of Earth, are the best part of the Milky Way.
So, don’t have a cow, this post is over!

Fingers lovingly probe the letters of these keys.
Emotion tries to rescue me.
Where will they take me?
Like a Disc Jockey plays,
A rolling stone.

It is late, but the songbird of my life called me out of the blue earlier this afternoon,
In the daylight for a change,
We usually talk late at night.
She calls me unexpectedly,
Holla at a brotha excitedly to say she thinks
She was nearby where my mother lives.
Few have permission to go there.

An ongoing thing,
Is this fling;
I stopped it for twenty-five years.
Let the sap descend back to the roots;
Banned and then I forgave her
Upon shockingly returning as a caregiver.

Many a year it seemed,
I was just her chauffeur to parties
nothing more afterwards.
I was in love with a ride-share client;
She spoke her love for me,
However it was never consummated and not the same.

We are still both single,
Early sexagenarians who have not yet exchanged sexual generics.
Would it be worth it now having desired her for so long?
As uncharacteristic as a cold cactus on a desert night,
I still do not trust her to visit and be denied and teased again.

Therefore, and because she lives now in the dark of the Bronx,
I have not visited her,
Even when I am in nearby Queens;
The tolls over the bridge are also somewhat prohibitive now.

Lay lady never laid,
Maybe on my new almost brass bed,
If only I could finally get her into it.
Never taking me seriously,
Thinking I was too skinny genetically.
That I can never control.

If now that we are older Baby Boomers,
She would perish before I do,
Would be the saddest day,
Save my own mother’s time before mine.

Her voice is still the same,
Except when she is being street braggadocios.
Our octaves never change I guess,
Unless health issues do.
Once a songbird to my heart,
Always a special symphony singer into my soul.
She insists “last night a DJ saved my life”.

Thirty years I have known her;
Yet through it all never boned her.
No hook-up from the friend zone.
Nyet benefits – why?
This verse is masturbation alone.

Caring in-truthful conversations,
This time wasn’t our mind blown?
To have loved and to slice like a cherry tree;
Tasted tart fruit distantly from one’s own;
Maybe so with no consummation.
Not a pie are we,
No French Vanilla-skinned ice cream;
Just maybe her forever fly-by.
No reason stated as to why 
It will be morose to have lost the chance ,
When one of us soon goes “bye-bye”.

I feel sorry for today’s young people and am glad I do not have any; really never wanted because I noticed the onslaught of too many “mistakes” running around doing stupid things decades ago and even more, these days.

Take for example, the latest lunacy in the following story from earlier this week.

Recent generations’ obsession with posting dumb stuff on Facebook and Instagram sinks to a new low when an older sister crashes the car she, her sister and friend are joyriding in and all she can think to do is narrate it via livestream into the camera phone and post on Instagram instead of trying to get help or help save her dying sibling’s life or soothe her injuries. It is egocdentric madness begat by the scurge of reality TV!
Where are the parents who should have taught prioities at the dinner table to this little hussie?

In a statement they said, via her Public Defender Samrao, “They want her to come home,they’re not mad at her. They don’t blame her.” What? ‘Sounds like some errant political correctspeech. They also said, “she needs help.” No sh** Sherlock! That is what your job is dummy! Where were you and your wife all of her life? Smokin’ weed?? They should also serve prison time as accessories, IMO. To add insult to deathly injury the girl, Ms. Sanchez, had a prior reckless driving case as a juvenile. Nope, $560,000 bail not be reduced. She gloated and accepted “responsibility” on-camera, in a classic case of “no home training” and of course, “cried in court”. Tragic situation, yes and they can be avoided with educational prevention.

This lack of common sense is an epidemic. I have lost count of the times that I have heard about these young criminals posting their crimes on Facebook AS IF they don’t think that the Cops are checking there.

Some of my fellow Baby Boomer friends have a point when they refuse to use Facebook and other Social Media due to their belief that it is ‘a way for the CIAs of the country to “Big Brother” us orwellian-style’!
I say that the inventor of the camera and Alexander Graham Bell, of the telephone, would think it a priviledge and special talent to be a photographer and that everybody should not own a camera as now comes fashionably standard with a telephone!

Nyet, this young lady and those like her who post devious acts on Facebook and other social media have life totally backasswards and nobody is taking to school on it. News media report but do not teach why it is a wrong thing to have done because negativity (in their minds) sells sponsor’s products.
When will those to captain our social mores learn? Oh, that might take real old-fashioned education and pro-active punishment of our youth – heaven forbit that!

For example the leaders of Facebook, Instagram and Livestream could take ownership of this teaching moment AND perform a public service by disclaiming and cautioning these young, “cable-ready” generations NOT to share criminal acts under penalty of the cancillation of their accounts immediately!

No matter what the prision time Sanchez ultimately gets, she sentenced herself to lifetime of guilty feelings – if she has that much sense.

Let Achilliad know what you think about this kind of activity in “Comments”.

1972 – Any University, metro New York; dormitory:
The Soul music singing group, Black Ivory, better known for the classic, “You And I” and “Don’t Turn Around” is heard in the hallways regularly.  However, this is a personal Kraterfullojointzmusik mission I write about tonight. Hauntingly, I share it with thee as it teases me, for your obvious non-judgmental amusement.

The best lyric of all, in my opinion and dominion is the one this post is following. Maybe because I am an elf or maybe due to my status or fungus, but it is, “Now, I’m the loneliest man in town”. None-no-fun, as we used to say back in the day.

I am often that and morosely in-perpetuity. So, what? Need a hot fox to keep me company. One with the bosom of classic actress, Ann Margaret; maybe a red head, like I saw in the supermarket yesterday. Butt (lack of ass) who knows?
They say a supermarket is the best place to meet a chick! Nyet. Please bring your discount card! Didn’t work; couldn’t think up something to say to her. Now (again) “I’m the loneliest man in town”.
And so it comes to me that I am again making new friends and acquaintances in a distant city and where the crutch is the bible belt and the women are not as forthcoming sexually.

Fast-forwardly I, the Master, came to the Carolinas to rid myself of the cold and to be near the ocean, initially. Yet it is not the main reason, because retirement looms.

I am only lonely because [use your imagination or fill in the blank] And If it didn’t, I would fly, marry her according to their rules and bring her back to the USA, so that I would finally have the companion I need to walk up to the sun together with now. Damn…

Nevertheless, Sing, Brothers, Sing! Perform my comfortless burg’s principles!

Check out my musik-only blog for the latest reviews at https://achilliadsmyvinylrecordshoppe.wordpress.com/


What if your penis could talk?

Or ladies, your vagina?

I can only speak to it, the penis;
So lets stick to the penis because,
We are full of double entendre now;
I know more about the former anatomy.

Guys, would your penis tell all the tales
Of the tails that you put it through?
What would it say?
Would it stick it to you?
Would it betray your manhood?

If your “wood” could gentleman,
Would it say why it stiffens in the middle of the night,
When nature calls?
And of its relationship to your balls?
The so-called, “family jewels”.
Or how COME it acts UP,
Without a female nearby?

If your penis could talk,
Would it explain those teenage wet dreams?
Or would it allow for a better elderly stream?
Suppose your dick could dictate?

If your dick could think quick,
Would he chronicle all the lays you gave him?
The tunnels of love you made him enter?
No toll necessary but the pleasure of the flesh..
Would he be like “Dick Tracy”,
Investigating the vagina chronicles?

If your penis could talk, when hard;
Would he allow you to walk the walk?
What would the “wood” say about Viagra or cocaine?
Would he want to go “See Alice”?

If Your Penis could talk,
He would likely laugh at erecting “over four hours damage”
Come-on, he can last much longer!
If the woman is sexy and fine!

If your Magic Johnson could speak,
He would be concerned about Lorena Bobbit!
Are they even still together?
Yes, unfortunately and likely in some trailer park,
Chopping meat.

If you named him “Jack Meoff”,
Would your penis explain how you are now a private “southpaw”?
Or all of the times it gave you a hard time for no reason?
Like when you have no companion next to you in the bed?

What would your penis say if it could talk from its tiny mouth?
Would he remember and reveal if you ever contracted an STD?
Or if you enjoy masturbation too much?
Would it brag as a slender, thick or a curved dick?

As you can see, this debate has many angles.
Including the calculation of the dangle;
From forty-five to a sturdy ninety silk degrees;
A silent partner in a three-way love affair,
Who you want to treat right,
Not just beat it.

Couldn’t help the analogy, lol!

Send your opinions! Thank you for reading my poetry.

Kissing a Kia was a nice ride,
A Pelvic glide;
Not a fender-bender no.
I drove a Pontiac at that time;
Then a Mustang.
She once wore horizontal back and white stripes,
We would make out sometime in my car.

Kissing Kia;
So how did that start?
Must have been those copious love letters,
Which I still find when looking for something else;
She penned them while in her high school classes.
Giving her a lift home,
Keeping her border secret
Impressed by my loyalty I guess,
Similarly needing a true friend was I,
She was not a drive-by.

Kissing Kia,
Coming, or better put,
Stopping-by my Counselor office,
Pulling me near in an embrace,
Very sexy she and I couldn’t avoid that face.
Well put-together by the love God Venus,
Body belied her age or another from the assembly line;
It was all I could muster not to think with my penis.

Kissing Kia,
How I wanted to hook-up,
Yet I couldn’t as I was thirty-something
While like the old Sam Cooke Song,
“She Was Only Sixteen…”
Only half of those lyrics applied;
She was one smart cookie,
An intelligent older man drawn
While unsung will sensibly realize.

Kissing Kia was not fake.
Had she bragged to a friend however,
Would have been a Daily News headline cover,
I did not want to make.
Though her tender, well-built body
I yearned to take.

Kissing Kia drove to express her desires,
In no uncertain terms;
More mature than many ladies my own age,
And those guys of her generation;
Her flirtation taught me an important unknown page.
Why so blessed was I with this decision test?

Kissing Kia,
Upon a time of the whip-appeal era,
She is still Babyface alright with me.
A Kia with an Optima Sportage Soul,
French-kissingly Nero Forte,
Mashina I would still love to drive.

Kissing Kia
During period change in my office,
All the way lovingly Kool;
Love you you fool!
Wanted to mount that vernon.

Kissing Kia
As years pass,
Both much older.
Never forgetting those boobs nor that tight ass;
Our Fantasy Island unfulfilled.
Yet so long as we live,
None but us know which embers of
Burning passion lasts.

 

It was a given that my generation of men always embraced the “Playboy” lifestyle out of college in the 1970s and now, amusing as it is that some criticize us for it; it really made us better (and more sexy) men!
You know that my writings are not “politically correct” because I do not believe in that line of thinking,  and you like that! So, here we go again:

I first heard this jam in the background of a Frankie Crocker on WBLS FM radio show, I think; or maybe it was a “High Life” theme on a Miller beer ad or some commercial? Who? What? “This is what you ARE!?

what you listen to is a continental, bon vi vant style, which brings to mind the French Rivera! Don’t you think?
I came upon this “high life” song again by dint of my jukebox musical mind remembering when I reviewed it for http://www.about.com/dancemusic back in the late 2000s, when the legendaray “DJ Ron” was my Editor! Wow! I like the continental style of the lead singer, who brings us into a vacationing state of mind on this compilation of “Dimitri In Paris”,

Major props to memories of these carefree daze and my radio Mentor, the late legendary terrestrial radio Program Director, Sonny Taylor, who loved this jam!
It is a CLASSIC theme-song that visits me every so often as a friendly reminder of better days gone by. If this long twelve-inch remixed version doesn’t get you moving, nothing will! Belita Woods on lead vocal really “belitaed it OUT!” lol Yes this is one of my “children” and I pray that I can get it out of storage soon and, along with you – TURN IT UP!

Be sure to check out my krates-fullo’jointz musik-only blog, https://achilliadsmyvinylrecordshoppe.wordpress.com/ for my latest music reviews!