File under: Pet Peeves; conversation overheard.

Her Dad is 95, living alone in New Jersey and has appointment to see a specialist about a serious medical diagnosis and his Home Attendant, who is from Senegal, is to accompany him.

From Utah, Pam, the daughter, one of four siblings who rotate in regularly and is charged as his health proxy, calls the morning of the appointment to find out that their main Home Attendant has taken an unscheduled vacation which the agency did not notify her of and with an hour to go, her dad is with this newcomer and still not up, dressed and fed. Livid but trying to remain cordial, she asks to speak to the replacement Attendant, Temish – who is from Ghana. She wonders to herself why the Agency sends no candidates from The States who can speak better English and are assimilated into American culture these days. A fight with them is for a future day. For now, the appointment is crucial.

When she tells the new Attendant of the magnitude of the appointment and how they have to be picked up in an hour, all the replacement says is, “
I know. I know…” This is one of Pam’s pet peeves and the following conversation ensues:

“This is an important appointment.
I know.
You guys are getting picked-up in an hour.
I know.
The sky is blue gaga today.
I kn-n-n… (stuttering ensues)”

“Stop saying ‘I know’! If you knew, then you’d be up and Dad would ‘know’ he has an appointment. He is still not up, has not eaten breakfast and doesn’t remember this.
Never say to me, ‘I know’ – better to say “I understand” and then do not fear asking questions for further guidance.
Nobody “know” all, especially since you’re not from here in The States. Nobody “know” all who cannot be educated – not even me. With my Dad I can help you with and I must help you hear me – to know him and our customs better. Do you understand?”
[silence]

“I don’t know you, Temish
So to me, your mind is like and bread box with half of a loaf inside.
To me you know nothing of our ways.”
[more silence]

“I used to say, “I know…” to the elders who tried to teach me when I was growing up right there where you are right now. It is like a mental block by a stubborn child who does not want to hear nor be taught.
Except that now, adult-looking people use it as a crutch when they come to our country, trying to hold onto their own culture and not assimilate into the western lifestyle, while not admitting it. In your case, it is dismissive of me trying to help.
So, Never say, ‘I know’ because you likely don’t know. Instead, think of something to ask or add as a reply to the conversation – and with that, you will complete the communication.”
“Okay.” (progress?)