Nightly I leave a piece of paper and a pen upon the headboard of my bed so that I can jot-down thoughts and ideas that come to me during the night as I try to sleep. So I can jot dream scenarios before they disappear into the vault of my subconscious. Often my brain does not let me sleep soundly, what with the ever-present money worries of these times.
When I awake, I hardly am able to read these scribblings from the dark. Ideas that I’ll forget in the morning, or whenever I awaken if I do not write them down; scary episodes, often with people that I know but who I know do not know each-other! Like the time that I felt something trying to surround and envelope me just as I was falling asleep in my darkened room and bed. As it squeezed me silently, I almost could not wake up and free myself from whatever presence that was!
I struggled physically to open my eyes and turn over a from my right side under the covers, to my left – and then “it” was gone! As I lay there, still and scanning the darkness in the aftermath, pondering what just happened and what “it” was that I really felt grabbing me in a strong constricting attempt. After briefly turning on the headboard light, I drifted to sleep for the night, thinking that maybe it was death itself that just tried to take me.
During ensuing days, I contemplated “the presence”, but have not felt its return to try and capture me – yet. Recently I’ve been, at the owner’s request last November, trying to shop this house I have rented for the past ten years, and researched that it was built in 1950. Therefore, there could be any number of “spirits” trying to return to their original haunts from time-to-time… Then an acquaintance who’d snagged his drawers by talking racist shit on Christmas Eve 2011 and who I had not heard from since, shows-up on my doorstep – without calling first which is my #1 RULE – like the Grim Reaper’s bad penny and furthered my waking pain.
The Girdler’s spirit of my father wants to handcuff him while I prepare the masonry to encase him in the wall for violating our space. We keep it in there.
That is how it happened! Sleep is a premium at any day or night these days as we toil to solve our monetary shortcomings. I tell my brain, “Quiet Your Mind!“, listen to an old cassette tape of my radio show, and most times, off to another dream-scape I go. What about YOUR dreams? Not your desires and goals, but when your subconscious takes over as you lay you down to sleep?