Dave

His favorite cocktail was a “Red Snapper” (Crown Royal and Cranberry juice) short and neat with a cherry.  He almost didn’t fit in with the rest of his casino co-workers; too nice or straight-laced and clean-cut.  He tried to play the part, and I could tell that often they tried to make him the butt of their practical jokes. As he got to feel comfortable with me, he’d stop at my bar first and began to open up about his personal life.  Apparently he too had a relationship nightmare with a woman back somewhere in Pennsylvania and there was drama over a daughter that either he wasn’t allowed to see or that wasn’t really “his”; it varied from week to week.  What was certain was that here was a misunderstanding, money involved and that hurt this young man deeply.  I could tell that from the tears that welled in his eyes when he came close to getting down to the nitty-gritty about it with me – often after the second Snapper.

This one particular night he was particularly distraught.  His weekend visit into Pennsylvania with the female had not gone well and he is almost crying as he tells me his story, when I lean towards him over the bar and say, “Let me tell you something and maybe you won’t feel so hopeless. I’ve heard of that happening, ‘Man, it is like they don’t want a guy to be able to make a living or suntin,”

Suddenly a fifty-thousand dollar pendulum swinging back and forth over his prone body, getting closer and closer to slicing him up and ending his life.   This “child” is apparently thirty years old by now!  “Isn’t there some statute of limitations on a female coming after you at this late date?” Dave asks. “How’d they find you?”

He told me his lesbian and sex-starved “sister”, who is twenty years younger-than-he pointed the snoops in his direction against his wishes when suddenly sheriffs and police began to terrorize the house he grew up in, about five months ago – a betrayal that has not gone unnoticed.   He lost his tax refund for this year because they took it for this “debt”.  “That was my rent money, ‘Man!” he said.

This most recent unjust tax threatens to end life for those who want to pursue what few dreams that I have left in mind.  A shackle like this changes he way men manage their lives and injects fear and paranoia where there was none in mind previously. By taking his tax refund, all they do is unjustly penalize and hurt men short-term – like a dead man walking.

He said, “Its time to encourage an amendment to these laws that will allow this amount to be deducted from an account associated with this action in one lump sum. After all Dave said, maybe the Social Security number has already been besmirched in order to locate potential victims of these laws like me (a use for which it was never intended, you know), so while they are into my “private” account, just go ahead and take the whole sum and be done with it?” 
This is an interesting remedy for an older gentleman who cannot afford another “car payment”. Of course a guy could then choose either to get involved with said female again or not. “Wow man, choice, what a novel idea,” said Dave sarcastically.

What is the point of this greedy action?  It will NOT create a family or a “father” for an illegitimate child birthed by an unmarried woman who, if I remember correctly, the case was an acquaintance for only three weeks after some former co-worker set him up with her as a “blind date”.  She’d dumped him for another man or men – no reason given . When heard from  again briefly months later, she told him she was pregnant. He asked her, “So where is the ‘father’?”  “He left me,” she replied.  I think she fooled-around with a few guys, and didn’t know who the unlucky bastard was.

The a paternity test maybe umpteen years ago, and the result was “inconclusive”, so he didn’t worry much about it anymore, even though the first time they even heard of this female’s actions was when the state of Connecticut took his driver’s license away out of the blue in true draconian style.

Yes they fooled around during that brief time period – so did everyone back then (and even nowadays).  That doesn’t give a female Carte Blanche to be a ball-and-chain on a man who desires no relationship with her, for the rest of his days.  Dave might have been open to the idea if she came to him within the first weeks she found out about her condition, but to jump out of the alley and mug him years after she gave birth is behavior that should not be rewarded!

Most guys I know would not WANT to have any dealings with such a selfish and capricious female who would ruin three lives when a simple abortion or giving it up for adoption would have solved the problem. I remember that my parents always said to me, “Don’t bring home no bastards into this house!”  And I knew what they meant and never wanted to shame the family like that.  Ya know, there is a reason births like that were called “illegitimate”  until child support enabled this culture of the “single mom” at the expense of many men who are great people who got caught like dolphins in a fishing net – that stigma should be restored.

This is mentally traumatic and physically debilitating; Dave cannot sleep, and this will indeed shorten his life without some kind of intervention by a sympathetic entity or persons.

“So… I know your pain Dave,” I said.
I lamented as I sighed, “Last Call! Dave, here’s another one – it’s on me.” [Read what happens to Dave in “He’s In A Meeting, Adventures In Getting Past Gatekeepers…”]

Pickhit: for over a decade stuff like this has gone one with (mostly) guys being intimidated by a system and judiciary that dismisses their pleas, lumping every case into a one-size-fits-all formula instead. The field needs to be leveled.