Archive for February, 2010


Have you noticed?  This egg we call Earth is a-cracking more and more recently. A 3.8 in Chicago;  Haiti, Japan, Turkey, and the 8.8 in Chile!   This egg is cracking..where next? People are using terms like “apocolypse'” and “end of the world” during these events…what if?

We in the continental U.S. have been very lucky.  I wonder what would happen – IF it could happen – if a major quake could shake this whole continent of north America like the it did in Chile.  I bet the Congress of the U.S. would suddenly be much more congenial!  You see, the U.S.A. has unfortunately become much too complacent and fat.  We almost need a cataclysmic event like an earthquake to shake us back into civility IMHO. And these new security cams (big brother cams) that are all over have ONE good use: they catch the action like never before!  I mean the up-and-down, up-and-down motion answered one of my long-standing questions about Earthquakes: what is it like?  Holy cow.  The Geological Service says this isn’t a trend – it sure feels like one! Reminds me of when, as a boy, I saw the classic sci-fi movie, “Crack In The World”…

pickhit: The aftermath of both quakes show a commonality of people who are perceived to be outwardly “different” – in disaster, the language is the same: desperation.

 
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                   As a new blogger…this is bit of an experiment…my mind is such that I think of it as a huge jukebox with millions of songs in it.  If the old TV show, “Name That Tune”  was still on, I’d go on a winning streak, naming those tunes in…one, two or (at the most) three notes… Every so often, a  new tune crashes my personal ” Top 999″ songs and becomes a tune wedgie – I play it again, and again, and again, and again, et. al (At times like this, I guess it would take a special girl to actually LIVE with me…). And so, this is today’s tune wedgie/and song I’m stuck on.  It reminds me of myself and that special dance partner (or not) alone, twirling, whirling, turning, swirling and cavorting on the sequentially-lit, multi-colored disco club dance floor.

Who knows, if this catches on, I’ll do one a month! LOL

pickhitt: video is the bomb, but the track is all that!

                          There are a handful of times when I’ve been stupid as an adult – most of them involve women – the latest is not following my better judgement and going for the dreaded telecommunications and entertainment “bundle” or “triple-play” as this company now tried to disguise it.  Bundle packages from these companies and monopolies are never a good idea. You get a ridiculous monthly rate, fall behind, and then are at the mercy of the cold-hearted corporation.  I knew this and tried the ComCOST one anyway.  Ten months later, I am all about de-bundling and never again letting one hideous corporation hold all of my modern services hostage. For the second time in in nine weeks, CUMcast  “disconnected” my land line – even though I diligently pay them  weekly  as a show of good faith.  Their “bundle” began me with a $250.00 deficit, and each month’s bill out paced anything I can earn consistently.  Apparently I am not the only one who has had bad experiences with CumCost as any internet search on Ask.com will reveal; or better still, when I speak to my friends near and far, I get the “Oh I know what you MEAN about Comcast…” reply.  So if this monopoly is so bad for so many, WHY are they in business?  Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned BOYCOTT?  I mean, they are all about the money right?  So we consumers with our hard-earned $$ should stop giving it to corporations like this.  Where is a Ralph Nader consumer advocate when we need him? Off plotting his next failed run for President?? 

Go to a ComCOST payment location in this city and witness the backs who least can afford it upon the rich get richer with a cue of paying customers that rivals any bank.  As I stand there inching forward amongst the pleas for more time or payment “arrangements”, promotional announcements, Big Brother-style TV cameras in the ceiling and annoyingly loud conversations by pseudo Hip Hop outfitted homies on they “celly”, knowing there at least twenty people ahead of me, I feel the victim of a huge scam.  Comcast and entities like them are today’s banks; if I were Bonnie and Clyde, I’d go there for some action.  Maybe  they  need some of President Obama’s “tough love talk” to reign them in so that the people can get a bailout!  They are raking it in!  I feel bad for all the poor people on those lines who should – like me – be  watching less television and living more productively, and I reaffirm that vow to myself.

This is why I am actually glad that they suddenly cut off  all of my telecommunications with one outside of the company “contractor” climbing a telephone pole. Then he had the nerve to trespass upon my inner property and beat on my side door to demand some mysterious “box” that I supposedly had, but had “returned” the last time they disconnected me from life as I knew it. I had an excuse to vent upon somebody for a change, poor dude, it isn’t  his fault, but NOBODY should ever take jobs like that – to repossess upon the little people out here who are struggling to make ends meet.  I’m sorry, they are betrayers of the faith.  So, I had no internet, no TV, and no land line telephone with one snip (bastards), but what I got in return was a return back to basics.

Luckily no corporation can cut-off my music system and radio.   They didn’t count on the fact that they were dealing with a veteran of the real fun terrestrial radio days and an actual DJ/Personality with a music library and the acumen to fall back upon National Public Radio waay down at the “educational” part of the FM dial for my information fix; the BBC on the classical music NPR station, my old VHS tapes – stuff I forgot I’d even taped (and some of which I wonder why I did).  I worked more OFF-line, editing the manuscript of my hopefully forthcoming memoirs about my radio days book ; proofreading, researching and editing my music reviews as well.  Yeah, ComCOST did me a favor, and I am sharing that lesson with you, my favorite reader because we have become too reliant upon cable TV, gadgets and “new” technology toys and watching others who have their “millions” while we struggle, still watching them, while WE should be making our own “hay” as my Dad used to say.

I spent about sixty dollars on my Virgin Mobile top-up card celly just to be able to say in-touch with the outside world at twenty cents per minute; money that Cumcast could have had, La la la la Laaaa…’got back into using my huge Funk & Wagnall’s dictionary instead of dictionary.com; the actual Yellow Pages instead of “google” or “ask.com”.  This has been a refreshing wake-up call, and I wanted to share it as a lesson to us all – don’t be seduced by the bundle – EVER.  Separate your services – always.  Never let one company “handle” you like I did.  On the serious side, since I work from home on the telephone, I have lost three weeks of potential income – something I tried to explain to the “collections manager” so he would ‘put a hold” on my account, to no avail.  He even told me “too bad, I cannot downsize your bundle until you pay three hundred dollars”  I  said “If I can’t work the phones, I can’t possibly earn that much, so you are chasing your own tail inside a Catch-22.”  I guess that went over his feeble billing head as I ended-up having to hang-up upon his inflexible ear vowing that “I wished I’d never signed on with CumCast!”  And Yes, a former g/f  didn’t watch any TV,  and chastised me for doing so – kudos to her (and you know who “you” are) for one of your little wisdoms coming to pass with me – but not for you to enjoy or see. 

Daily, I hear the horror stories now, but most people just turn the other cheek and continue to PAY. Not me – no way.  So many of us are experiencing so much trial and tribulation that it takes those in control to help us get by.  I don’t feel that spirit from entities like ComCost or AT&T, even though their commericls (which I always mute by the way) try to pay lip-service to having our best interests at heart.  Bull! The only thing they are concerned about is the dolla sign and the bottom line.
[Editor’s note: two years later, I do not have ANY type of television in my home – and don’t miss it. Filed a claim against Comcast with the Division of Consumer Affairs in the state I live in for price-gouging and defamation of my credit history because they refused to do-bundle me despite my repeated requests for them to do so (which I saved in my email folders and printed). To be continued…] Thanks for reading; please comment.

I’ve been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve.  Let’s examine that expression first…Historically, I seem to remember that sometime in Europe’s middle ages, men would pin the name of their lovers or the object of their desire on their sleeves.  That line was also delivered by the character Iago in act I, scene I of the Shakespearean tragedy, Othello, “But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve/For daws to peck at. I am not what I am.”   I think it means I am a sensitive, emotional man, with  feelings  more “visible” rather than hidden, unlike most people who pretend to be unphased by the meanness of others or unwanted negativity that happens to me. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, in fact IMHO it is healthier to let stuff out than hold it in and eventually have a heart attack or blow like the volcano, and if I may attempt an Shakepeare-style  line here, “if I be not allowed to display my love upon my “sleeve” then where should I wear it?”

However, it can be tried to be used against a person by the dimwitted I guess.  Maybe my former girlfriend was sometimes dim-witted – it is as good as any explanation she’s given me for breaking-up with me suddenly last June because she stil has given me NONE.  Yes, with Valentine’s Day approaching, I’m back on  that  again.  Please indulge me my dear reader, this was the first lady to ever surprise me with a choice of one out of two ensembles to wear that she had selected for me to try on in the days just before Valentine’s Day.  I wasn’t even sure that she celebrated such a “Hallmark Holiday” going by our progressive, anti establishment and commercialization of our lives conversations.  I guess all women secretly have that romantic bone in their hearts in spite of protestations to the contrary; I was SO over Valentines’ until we met.  Why would a woman go to the trouble of picking out an outfit for her man and then jilt him suddenly four months later, giving him no reason?  This is what happened to me.  That’s right, “the Girl From Transylvania” hooked the kid up with a sharp outfit that included a tie and vest!  What did I get her for Val’s Day last year?  Well I fulfilled her sudden request to wear her hair in dreadlocks like I do, and paid for her to go to my “hair girl” and get her hair styled thusly!  It looked SO cute too…but we didn’t calculate the difference in hair texture and locking agent required, so it didn’t stay – but it looked sweet!  This post is dedicated to all of the women who I have met since I was jilted and who, sensing that there was another woman lurking in my consciousness, probed until I unburdened myself to them about “the Girl…”, and who tried to make sense of it from a female perspective only to give up basically saying, “Boy she really did a number on You!” or something similar.  It is also dedicated to my few long-time male friends who have counseled me to basically “forget her it was not worth it. The only thing she did was waste your time. Time is very precious to us all since we are all here for just a twink of eye. Just think of what you could have productively doing with your time if she was not in your life. Next time you meet someone, try to size them up immediately and find out what she is all about before committing your resources including time…” as Leo back in south Jersey recently summed it up.  I’m just not as “cool” as I used to be – losing that Playboy edge, I guess. <grins>

So: What kind of a woman goes out of their way to make you love them with gestures like taking you on a food stamp shopping spree on THEIR Food Stamps account without my asking her to after she found out that I had a particularly bad financial day?  Cooking and sharing copious dishes with you including Thanksgiving and Christmas; lets you bond with her two sons( from two different guys by the way), her younger sister and sister’s boyfriend, all who live with her in her nice multi-roomed house; takes you to integrate your Americaness with her “Belarusian” culture at a party; gives you a TV, an extra blanket to keep warm, and a really nice radiator room heater to make your space more cozy; makes a big deal out of our one year anniversary; treats me to a fabulously classy birthday dinner at an upscale restaurant; lets you finally give her a total body massage, while she has a degree in Massage Therapy; seeks out my hair stylist so that SHE can have dread locks hair style like I do -and I gladly pay for it for Valentines day;  creates a  framed wall picture collage of some of my recipes from my cookbook (that she in a fun way “stole” from it unbeknownst to me) with  some sayings like “you are so special to me” and a little haunting picture of her in the lower left-hand corner and a set of fine wine glasses for my birthday?   

What kind of lady parties with me unconditionally, was a great touch-dance partner whenever we went out, and even drank harder stuff than the wine I sip because of her culture (I guess); never says “no” to a date request; never has an argument or heated words with me? (the closet to an argument was a debate about cooking rice !)  I never cheated on her and actually brought my bachelor self closer to her lifestyle and sacrificed my man shit like sports and even showed empathy when she told me that she saw a “therapist” weekly (but never told me exactly “why” – I figured because of past husband abuse issues), showed understanding when she told me twice that she didn’t want to get close to me because of “panic attacks” [prior to our ever being intimate and we didn’t do THAT for about five months after we met], who then suddenly dumps me COLD  and without explanation forevermore?  Who apparently enjoys a romantic weekend to celebrate our one-year anniversary, finally leaves her new toothbrush and stuff in my bathroom (we know how chicks like to mark their territory like that), and then two weeks later tells me the “magic is gone”?

Even after the initial “dump” she would call me to rescue her late at night at a bar we used to hang at, enjoying conversation and adult libations once when she had ingested too much “Vhischey” (I loved her voice and Belarusian accent; the way she said the word “Hilarious!” was one of a kind).  Another time, after the fact asking me yet again to help her with her English homework and an appeal on her grade to her on-line English instructor!  Am I yet again this stoopid and naïve?  Yet again do I have reason to cease to exist because I am “too nice”?  I wasn’t always “too nice”!!  I tried to hang on and hoped she would drift back within my gravitational pull, unsuccessfully as she became even colder after telling me she “missed” me and agreeing to “reunite” within a month. And there is probably more great stuff she did that I am not remembering right now like the “ohh!”, so romantic way she admired my hands, of all things; how she’d examine them and hold them tightly when we went to the movies – I never go to the movies – and much other good stuff. In the early Autumn of 2009,  she kinda flirted with a friend of mine right in front of my face in his office!  He is married and we’d hung-out together at his house several times.  She did this in order to cut me out of future dealings between the three of us and get the perks of free tickets I had gotten for “us” because of the brotherhood my friend and I shared, I bet.  No shame to her game? Maybe just a little mean streak which makes me wonder how she can raise two “boys” who will  become “men” when she seems to have a contempt for the male species on some level.  As a group I grew up listening to/playing on radio, The Sylvers, sang, ‘I Wish That I Could Talk To You Baby…”

I suppose I shall revert back to being a “playboy” who goes for the “hit-and-run” affair , since a lasting “relationship” with a woman apparently is not in the “cards” for me as I hit my late-fifties stride. Naw, that won’t work! I think the self-service castration the better route.  Then, the subsequent back-up of blood to my other head will cause it to explode in a rush of misery-ending euphoria!

So, WHAT KIND of woman is this who just dumped me like yesterday’s vagabond?????  She asked me for, and I granted her a little “time alone with [herself] in order to think”, then perchance after three weeks of total cut-off, we fatefully ran into each other at a coffee shop where I was having a business meeting.  I told her I’d call her when I got the chance in a few days, and when I did, I joked, “Hey you’ve got to stop stalking me like that at the coffee shop…”  She said she was busy and to call her the next day.  When I did so, feeling upbeat I got her voice mail.

Her reply some hours later was this TEXT message: “…, I don’t want to hurt yr feelings but I’m not interesting in any relationships with you, even friendship as you call it.  So, do me a favor, stop calling, texting and writing me.”    Just like that, and when I asked “why”, I got no response. It wasn’t like I was stalking her ass or something; that is not my personality.  Please help me to understand this, because I am a good man and treated her with respect, love, passion, dignity and everything else possible in my intelligent-yet-caring arsenal.  WHAT…a colossal waste of both our times and supposed loving energies.  Part of me wishes I’d never even MET she who at this time last year, I thought was my new best female friend – outside of my Mother that is. I guess what I muse is how could a woman, on one hand, be the best I’ve ever dated and the worst heart-breaker on the other hand?  [Editor’s note: that friend she flirted with suddenly died at only 45 years of age, seven months later]

1. “Valentine Love” – Norman Connors; 2. “If My Lonely Heart Could Speak” – The Manhattans; 3. “Girls Ain’t Nothing But Trouble” – DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince; 4.”If My Heart Could Sing” – Marvin Gaye; 5.”I’ll Never Fall In Love Again” – written by Burt Bacharach/Hal David, sung by various artists including Dionne Warwick (probably the most famous version) and the late Isaac Hayes; 6. “I’ll Be Around (When He’s Gone)” – Marvin Gaye; 7. “Don’t Hold Back Your Love (Parts I & II)” – The Isley Brothers; 8. “There’s No Me Without You” – The Manhattans; 9. “Love TKO” – Teddy Pendergrass; 10. “Sad Sweet Dreamer” – Sweet Sensation; 11. “Love On A Two-Way Street” – The Moments; 12. “Break Your Promise” – The Delfonics; 13.”My Funny Valentine” – Rodgers & Hart; 14. “Goin’ Out Of My Head” – Little Anthony & The Imperials; 15. “I’m Out Of Your Life” – Arnie’s Love; 16. “Love Is A Hurting Thing” – Lou Rawls.

pickhitt: I’m only looking for closure, I guess – a REASON.

updatge 2/2011: time heals all wounds; Jah sent me someone MUCH better.

“There are many things that I’d like to tell you,

Like how I’ll never, ever forget you

If my heart, my heart could only sing, sing, sing.

-M.Gaye

Answer: “Self-deliverance” is always an option.

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