Item: General Electric, the company that used to be only known for light bulbs and who a few years ago absorbed most of the TV National Broadcasting Company (NBC), now plans to eat the rest of NBC and then sell itself as a slut to one of the evil telecommunications monopolies, Comcast (or as I like to call them ComCOST) by the end of the first week in December.
The good news may be that GE has diluted the entities it has touched; causing the Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien programming fiasco and thrusting local WNBC, TV New York weatherman upon the formerly credible and independent Weather Channel after absorbing them, and causing their brand to look like a cartoon show in the morning because of Roper’s buffoon-like reputation. We can only hope and pray that they will cause similar damage by selling their diluted properties to Comcast so they can get watery too – it would be refreshing.  Signed,  a soon to be “former customer”.

Item: So now, if you had any doubts, we know even Tiger Woods has a penis mentality to go along with his great skill at the game of golf.  All men, at one point or another, let their “wood” do the talking when faced with The Creator’s ultimate trick in life, the beautiful female.  If I had a son to train and guide from birth, I would teach him to beware of this tricky flower called the female – her beauty wants to suck you in, her different anatomy wants to incite and challenge your curiosity, and unless you can envision the possibility of co-habitating with any of these particular entities for the rest of your life legally, then your might want to take Burt Bacharach’s melodic advice and “Walk On By” whether it be on a concrete or virtual sidewalk.  Yeah, easy for me to say … I hear you.  Can I have one of their numbers, maybe Rachel’s, Tiger? LMAO

Hey Tiger! Most of us would kill for a hot wife from Sweden!  C’mon, why you wanna be greedy?  How come she doesn’t travel with you all the time? You can afford it.

Like I have always said, a lot of these guys should stay bachelors longer, have some male seconds they can trust around them for whatever like managing their fortunes in the talent’s best interest, and lobby for a male contraceptive pill – just in case.  I say that only one-third tongue-in-cheek. But upon further review, I think we have more of a “Kobe Bryant” situation and possibly a Cool Hand Luke-style  “failure to communicate.”

Thing is most troubling (again) is that we never had to endure the personal lives of/or they never got busted nor did things like this back in days of Palmer or Jack Nicholas. There is much to be said for dialing back this media has to cover and possibly exaggerate everything it smells as a story about your “hero” and his private life.  I am on Mr. Woods side on that count; but Dude, did you have to/at what point did you decide to take it outside??

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